On A Different Kind Of Lightness

15 April 2026

“The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become.” – Milan Kundera

Credit: While You Were Sleeping 2003, Su Blackwell

Just as I was sitting at my desk, wondering what to write for this month’s newsletter, the title of one of my favourite books on the shelf caught my eye.

For years, Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being has stayed with me, not just intellectually, but emotionally.  He writes about a kind of lightness that doesn’t come from freedom, but from a lack of roots.  A lightness that feels less like flying and more like drifting, detached from what truly matters.  Alongside it sits the weight of commitment, responsibility and moral duty – the kind of weight that gives life meaning.

In my work as a hypnotherapist, I sit with people who are carrying burdens they know well – anxiety, grief, old narratives about who they believe they are.  These things are heavy, yes – but there’s also a strange comfort in them, simply because they’re familiar.

What’s often harder is, ironically, not the weight but the lightness – the unbearable lightness.  It can feel hollow and directionless, as though something meaningful has been removed without anything ready to take its place.  I know that landscape well.  I’ve spent time there myself. 

But my own journey showed me something different.  There is more than one kind of lightness.

The lightness I experience now isn’t about losing gravity altogether, but about feeling supported from within.  I think of the old lightness as a balloon slipping from a child’s hand: frantic, destined to disappear into the sky.  The lightness I feel now is more like water moving through a quiet river – flowing with direction and depth, grounded even as it moves.

In hypnosis, release is important — letting go of what no longer serves you.  That process can be powerful and deeply relieving.  But it’s only the beginning.  The next question is what we choose to grow in the space that’s been created.  We’re not aiming for emptiness. We’re making room for qualities such as self-compassion, clarity and confidence.  A lightness that doesn’t pull you away from yourself, but brings you home.  One that feels safe to inhabit.

If you’ve ever felt that “unbearable lightness”, know this: lightness isn’t a single experience.  It comes in many forms.  And there is a version of it that feels full rather than empty, calm rather than disorienting.

When that kind of lightness arrives, you may find yourself living your life more fully.